Saturday, April 26, 2014

Poetry Month, Day 26 - Phlebotomist

I didn't write a poem yesterday - it was a mental health day - if I had to squeeze out a poem in the little time I had, I would have gone crazy!!  I'm using two words for today's poem, Plebotomist and Booger, so that should make up for it!  You may be wondering why I chose those two words - here's the story behind it:

I went to give blood this morning at a local blood drive and the phlebotomist tried my left arm but she hit scar tissue so the blood was coming out too slow. Then she tried my right arm and messed that one up too so I wasn't able to give blood but I got to take home two bruised and painful arms!

I wasn't as upset as I would have been because I was able to catch up with old colleagues and friends.
That made me happy - until I got in the car, looked in the mirror and saw a small dried "something" hanging off my nose!! I wonder how long that was there?!


 
 Cafe Press


SPOILER ALERT!!!
This poem has gross, stupid humor.  Don't say I didn't warn you!
 

Phlebotomist

Beware of the Phlebotomists
They don't just want your blood.

They're sort of like Lobotomists,
They'll turn your brain to mud!

They'll stir it up inside a bowl 
and mix it with your boogers.

Them bake it into jelly rolls
topped off with powdered sugar!

 


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Thursday, April 24, 2014

Poetry Month, Day 24 - Skype

Tonight I had a school visit on Skype - with an international school in Xiamen, China!  It was my fourth time Skyping with classes and it's so much fun!  The other three schools were in Iowa, Texas and England!  I wrote today's poem using the word, Skype.




Skype

I've learned I can skype
with schools of all types.

No matter how distant,
I'm there in an instant. 

We talk about writing -
it's really exciting!

They ask lots of questions.
I offer suggestions.

I'm building relations
with kids of all nations

I visit in China 
or North Carolina

and travel to Rome
without leaving home!
 


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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Poetry Month, Day 23 - Plotz

Today's word, Plotz, was given to me by an old grade school friend, Brad!  Apparently the word Phlox made him think of Plotz.  For those of you who don't know Yiddish, Plotz means to burst or explode or to be more aggravated than you can bear.  Here we go . . .


Plotz
I went to Las Vegas; I played all the slots.
I lost all my money - my husband will plotz!*

And when I get home, he'll do nothing but kvetch!*
But I can distract him (the dirty old letch)!

My Bubbe* had warned me, "A fool and her money 
soon will be parted - and that isn't funny!"

She said, "You need Chutzpah* if you're gonna gamble.
'Know when to fold them' should be your preamble!"

My Zaide* joined in with his usual spiel*,
"Watch out for Roulette - it's a dangerous wheel!"

I'll promise them all, "In the future, I'll pass.
Have I learned my lesson?  You bet your tuches!"*

~~~~~~~

*Yiddish Translations:
Plotz - to burst or explode
Kvetch - complain, fret
Bubbe - Grandmother
Chutzpah - nerve, guts
Zaide - Grandfather 
Spiel - a long involved sales pitch
Tuches - rear end, butt 
 


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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Poetry Month, Day 22 - Earth Day!

Last week, I presented at George Lieb School's Literacy Night.  

  


Because the event was in April, I asked if we could do a tie-in with Authors for Earth Day - and they enthusiastically agreed!  As part of the A4ED program, I chose five non-profit conservation organizations and the students at Lieb School researched each and voted for their favorite.  The winning group will receive the stipend I received for presenting at the school. 

The organizations I chose are: 
~ American Cetacean Society 
~ Bat Conservation International 
~ The Humane Society of the US    
~ Rainforest Action Network 
~ Wildlife Conservation Society


The organization that received the most votes was The Wildlife Conservation Society (personally, I was pulling for the bats).




Earth Day
 Today we focus on the earth.
Its conservation brings me mirth.

There's so much that we can do;
here are just a few for you:

Drink your water from a glass.
Plastic bottle?  Take a pass!

Build a compost in your yard. 
Start a garden - grow swiss chard.

Take a walk or ride a bike.
Don't throw out - reuse, recike.

Drive a hybrid - use less fuel.
Bring cloth bags to shop at Jewel*

Power up with wind or sun.

Please don't let your water run.

These few things are just a start.
Let's help the earth and do our part.


* Chicago area grocery store





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Monday, April 21, 2014

Poetry Month, Day 21 - Phlox

Today's word, Phlox, was given to me by Samuel Kent - the guy who beat me in the second round of March Madness and went on to win the whole thing!!  It's a bit nerve wracking writing a poem for a skilled poet!! 


http://www.superstock.com


Phlox

I have to write another poem? Really?  What the phlox?!
I haven't any fresh ideas - I'll never beat the clocks.

My weakened brain's in need of rest - and just a little time.
It's taking everything I have to think of one more rhyme!

So now this poem has reached its end.  I'll just write one more line.
And I'll forgive your "not great" poems, if you'll forgive me mine!




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