Comedy of Errors # 6

I was saving this story for a special occasion but, I did a blog interview last week on Rate Your Story, and I was asked to share a hilarious story about myself - even if it was embarrassing.  Well, this is by far (so far), the most embarrassing thing I've done!  In writing the story for RYS, I came up with the perfect title - I give you  . . .

The Gas Hole

About a year ago, I was going to meet my sister, Mindy, at the beach to go sea glass hunting. 

Let me stop here to say that, while I have a great relationship with Mindy, we did have a lot of the typical big sister (her) - little sister(me) conflicts growing up so there is an underlying bit of fear factor involved! 

So . . . I had to stop to get gas on the way to meet her and, while the gas was pumping, I realized I had money in my wallet that my husband needed and I'd have to go home, which meant I'd be late meeting Mindy. You wouldn't think this would be a problem but I knew she'd be upset because she's always on time - actually, she's usually early - and 
knowing she'd be upset made me upset! 

I quickly called her and said I'd have to swing by the house to drop off the money and would be a little late.  She said, "What!!  I'm almost there!!  How long will it take you!!  I don't want to cancel!! . . . . !!"  I said, "Don't worry, I'll get home as fast as I can!"  I frantically turned on the car and started to drive, when I realized the gas was still pumping!  I could see the hose pull out of the car's gas hole(?) and the gas was still pouring out!  I slammed on the brakes and ran to shut off the pump.  That's when I found out gas is very slippery! I flew in the air and landed in the puddle of gas - my whole right side was soaked!  I managed to get up and turn off the gas.  The manager ran out to help me.  He said, "Here, let me wash your hands," and proceeded to drizzle dirty water from the windshield squeegee on my hands and then gave me a greasy rag to dry them.  That's when I realized I broke my finger! 

Did I mention it was a beautiful Sunday afternoon and the gas station was packed with witnesses? 

I hobbled back to my car and, sitting as much on my left side as I could, started to drive home.  I realized Mindy was still on the phone and was very confused about what she was hearing!  As I drove home, I explained what happened and that, of course, I wouldn't be able to meet her at the beach.  She said, "What?!!  I'm almost there!!  Come on!!  We'll never find another day to do this!!  I'll come to your house and wait while you change clothes!!   . . . .!!  So, that's what happened - I went home and got cleaned up - that's when I found the massive bruise on my leg - and we went sea glass hunting at the beach as planned! 

Afternote: It took five washings and a week on the patio to get the gasoline smell out of my favorite sweatshirt!!

     


               Apparently,  
     it's not just me :-)

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Comedy of Errors # 5

I was at the deli counter of the grocery store today, waiting for my number to be called.  While  waiting, I remembered an embarrassing thing I said years ago at another deli counter.  I had been waiting to be helped then too and, while I waited, I read the labels on the different deli meats.  I saw one that said Red Sod Turkey Breast.  I was intrigued - what kind of turkey breast was it?  Had the turkeys been fed red grass?  Russian grass?  Boston grass?  The deli clerk finally called my number and I asked, "What's that Red Sod turkey breast?  I've never seen it before."  The woman was really polite and said, "Um . . . that's short for "reduced sodium".  Talk about RED!!

A Comedy of Errors #2

 This one's a quickie:  I took my son to his first job fair this morning and I was worried he'd be late.  We were waiting to turn left out of our subdivision and that light always takes forever.  It was 6:45 on a Saturday morning and not a car in sight.  My son told me to turn through the red light.  I said I didn't want to go through a red light so I turned right and made a quick u-turn (also illegal because of the double yellow lines - but not as blatant as going through a red light).  What I didn't realize was, while I was making my u-turn, the light changed, so I ended up driving through a red light anyway!

A Comedy of Errors #1

I entitled this post, A Comedy of Errors #1, because I know from experience, there will be more to follow. So, what's my latest comedy of errors? Here it is...

I've been trying to grow out my nails and have been using a cuticle softener as part of my regimen. The other night, I went to sleep way later than I should have - as usual. I was so proud of myself for remembering to apply the cuticle softener before I went to bed - even though I was sooo tired. I quickly slathered it on my nails and finger tips and went to bed.

In the morning, I noticed my fingers looked odd. Then I checked the bottle on the bathroom counter - it was clear nail polish, not cuticle softener. I decided to take it off before showering so I didn't smell like nail polish remover all day. So, I grabbed the remover from under the sink and scrubbed off the polish.

After my shower, I realized that the polish was still on my fingers. How could that be? I looked at the bottle I had used and saw that it was rubbing alcohol, not nail polish remover. So, I put on my reading glasses, found the correct bottle and proceeded to take off the nail polish. Success - naked nails!!

Ah, but here's the rub, my hands smelled like nail polish remover all day!